Mistah MOJO

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Posts by Mistah MOJO

• 
  23

  "Bible Teach" book's discouragement of investigating other religions

  by M.J. in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  after leading the reader through most of the major jw doctrines, the watchtower society's introductory book, what does the bible really teach?, really starts laying out the reasoning that you have to be a jw to be approved by god in chapter 15. it is interesting how the first instruction given here is not to go investigating what other religions teach.

  but, as the wts writers often do, they resort to circular reasoning and false analogy to support this:.

  *** bh chap.

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  Mistah MOJO

  This is just so lame and sad. When I was a Dub I read anti-witness material from other religions, fuguring if we had The Truth it could stand up to close scrutiny. I was verbally assaulted for the practice.
  
  MM
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  53

  Revelation "Adjustments": Complete Analysis

  by V in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  reference update.

  chapter 6. .

  reference update.

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  Mistah MOJO

  Man, you folks post some really in-depth material that impresses the hell out of me!
  
  MM
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  9

  Watchtower Society Burden publishers

  by eyes opened in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  i never published a book in my life but, yet i am called a publisher.

  interesting isn't it.

  watchtower bible and tract is a publishing company not a religion.

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  Mistah MOJO

  That's great! I always thought being called a "publisher" was nutty!
  
  MM
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  33

  Were dinosaurs part of a pre-Adamic "paradise"?

  by M.J. in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  the wts seems to affirm a lot that adam's blunder really screwed up the earth, and that the earth was not meant to be this place full of killing, disease, death, pain, etc.. but according to the wts version of the story, did god create the earth with these types of features before adam even came on the scene?

  the wts does not deny the existance of dinosaurs, who in their words were created prior to mankind during the 5th or 6th symbolic day-ages.

  yet its clear from fossilized remains that dinosaurs killed each other, had a high mortality rate, often died young, suffered from disease such as cancerous tumors: .

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  Mistah MOJO

  Dinos roamed Eden
  On veggies they were feedin
  While roamin' there in Eden
  
  Woo Hoo!
  
  MM
• 
  46

  fake wt covers?

  by carla in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  where are you guys getting the fake wt covers?

  or do just make them up as you go?

  love em'!

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  Mistah MOJO

  Omigod! These are HYSTERICAL! Thanks Leo!
  

  Many hugs,
  MM
• 
  24

  Thanks to Scully......

  by agapa37 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  for holding my hand and walking me through the registration process..........

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  Mistah MOJO

  WELCOME AGAPE!
  
  Blessings Divine to you!
  
  MM
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  1

  The Holy Trinity Wholly False!

  by Mistah MOJO in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  this will be the first in a series exploring the few doctrines that the wts "got right" starting with russell and the holy trinity.. .

  the holy trinity wholly false!.

  walsh, staff writer for the watchtower bible and tract society.

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  Mistah MOJO

  This will be the first in a series exploring the few doctrines that the WTS "got right" starting with Russell and the Holy Trinity.
  
  THE HOLY TRINITY WHOLLY FALSE!
  by J.W. Walsh, staff writer for the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society
  'BAM BAM BAM!" thats the sound of the men workin' on the chain, ga-ah-ang...wait...wrong decade. Okay. Here I am. I think. Therefore I am. I think.
  
  "The word "Trinity" is not to be found in Holy Writ. Nobody writ that s*** in Holy Writ, twit.
  
  Now that I've set the Intellectual Tone of this article, lettuce prey. "Deer Jojoba Gob, we cum beef ore ewe 2 prey Ann sikh yore whiz dumb. Whee no whee bee know buddy. In Cheese Us Name, A men." At ease Jonadabs, take your seats! That means SIT YOUR A** DOWN RECRUIT! That's better. Once, when I was young and inexperienced as all of you are today, I asked, "Who do I have to **** to get our of this chicken-**** outfit?" Well, the answer came quickly, and he was embarassed and aplogetic and explained that doesn't usually happen, but that's beside the point. What is the point? Hm. I'd glad you asked that question. Buy savings bonds...no...buckle up for safety buckle up...no... and cover? Nope. Only you can prevent forest fires...close, but no
  

  
  
  No, we're here today to discuss the Holy Trinity for Christ's sake! No, those aren't The Three Wise Guys you dumkoph! That's the Wholly of Whollies man, the Big Cheese X 3, the Triple Decker.
  
  Once upon a time, there was only JoJoba Gob, see. Gob existed forever, time without beginning. FOR ETERNITY PAST JoJoba did nothing but sit and admire himself and think, "I am so totally kewl n stuff." Then when Eternity Past was over with, and Eternity Present and Eternity Future were yawning before Gob like a Jay Dub at a DC, Gob said "Let there be Wacko Jacko" and it was so. And Gob saw Whacko Jacko and said " **** this s***!" and started over. "Let there be a Word coming forth from Me, my all-holiness and humbleness-ness.' And yadda yadda yadda. You know the drill. SHUT UP or you'll spend the night in the stockade!
  
  Bee awl that ewe can bee
  inn the arrrrr arrrr arr mee
  
  
  
  Then, when Gob had enough of that dumb shiite, he said "I wonder what I look like" so he made a mirror. Being invisible, Gob saw nothing, and said "Me thinketh this stinketh" and so he had a baloney sandwhich With mustard!
  

  Wait! I'm confused! Am I defending the Holy Trinity or taking a Holy S***t on it?
  
  Okay...got it. THE WHOLLY TRINITY IS KNOT IN THIS BOOK. NEITHER IS THE NUCLEAR FINE STRUCTURE CONSTANT OR THE PRINCIPLES OF AERODYNAMICS OR JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING. THE WHOLE SHEBANG IS KNOT HEAR. I rest my case. MM
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  17

  Wanted - two men of integrity at Bethel

  by moshe in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i think a big change is due soon for jehovah's witnesses and it will come about because of changes from the top.

  all it will take is two men on the governing body who somehow convince the rest to implement these three changes , for starters i see this:.

  #1- they eliminate all rules and guidelines on all medical practices.

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  Mistah MOJO

  Hi Moshe, I'll go ya one better. Just leave the damned JW's and join the Bible Students. Same basic music and lyrics, better dance. MM
  
  Your changes would be great but they don't fit into The Plan To take Over The World.
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  8

  When did/will they change the 1799/1914 teaching?

  by hamsterbait in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  from the first volume of studies in the scriptures,.

  the "time of the end" began in 1799, when napoleon bonaparte imprisoned the pope.. .

  the bible students in 1919 still believed this, over 115 years later.

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  Mistah MOJO

  Oh hell this is easy enough to spiritualize! Just say that "When Jesus said 'this generation [genea] will not pass awat till all these things occur' he meant "generation" in the same sense as when Jesus said "a wicked and adulterous generation seeks after signs.' Jesus clearly meant a particular type of wicked ones, the scoffers of the lasr days, a wicked "generation" or type of person. This type or class of people will not pass way till all things occur, means these wicked ones will be arounf until the Great Trin and Battle of Armageddon." MM "The Full of Shit Class"
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  2

  I Went To A Bible Study To Reminisce With My Old Friends (Song lyrics)

  by Mistah MOJO in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  bible study (to the tune of "garden party" by rick nelson) (do you own version too!).

  i went to a bible study to reminisce with my old friends.

  a chance to share old memories and sing our songs again.

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  Mistah MOJO

  BIBLE STUDY (To the tune of "Garden Party" by Rick Nelson) (Do you own version too!)
  
  
  I went to a Bible study to reminisce with my old friends
  A chance to share old memories and sing our songs again
  When I got to the Bible study, they all knew my name
  But no one would talk to me, I didn't sound the same
  
  But it's all right now, I learned my lesson well
  You see, you can't please Jehovah god, so you got to please yourself
  
  People came from miles around, everyone was there
  CT brought his jelly fish, there was magic in the air
  And over in the corner, much to my surprise
  Freddie Franz pullin' down his pants and wearin' his disguise
  
  But it's all right now, I learned my lesson well
  You see, you can't please Jehovah god, so you got to please yourself
  
  I spoke of all the old light, thought that's why they came
  No one heard the verses, they didn't read the same
  I said hello to Miracle Wheat and Theocracy
  When I sang a song about the Golden Age, it was time to leave
  
  But it's all right now, I learned my lesson well
  You see, you can't please Jehovah god, so you got to please yourself
  
  Someone opened up a closet door and out stepped Nathan H. Knorr
  Preachin about how its sin to doubt, and bein' such a bore
  If you gotta be at Bible studies, I wish you a lotta luck
  But if kingdom songs were all I sang, I'd rather drive a truck
  
  But it's all right now, I learned my lesson well
  You see, you can't please Jehovah god, so you got to please yourself